


When I Was Younger

by Not_An_Author



Series: One More Time [4]
Category: Persona 4
Genre: Autistic Character, Autistic Shirogane Naoto, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Kanji is Happy to Provide, Light Angst, Naoto Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 17:23:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12258774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_An_Author/pseuds/Not_An_Author
Summary: "I wish someone had said that to me when I was younger."





	When I Was Younger

**Author's Note:**

  * For [drowninginchamomiletea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/drowninginchamomiletea/gifts).



“Hey,”

Naoto hummed quietly.

“Everything okay?”

She continued humming.

“Ya don’t usually hum when you’re happy.”

Kanji gently placed himself on her bed, where she was lying down, simply staring up into emptiness. He shifted a bit, trying to find a good way to face her while leaving his legs off the bed.

“…”

“…”

“…My…apologies. It appears that I am not as… talkative as you would like.”

Finally, Naoto opened her mouth to speak quietly in her normal, lighter, softer tone of voice. She rolled over onto her side to look away from him. Kanji shuffled slightly closer to the edge of the bed.

“Rough day yesterday?”

“…”

“Sorry, should’a’ lead into-”

“No, it-it’s fine. I’m just being stupid, as always.”

“But you-”

“Look, it’s fine, nothing’s wrong, the sun has risen, everyone’s being nice and everything is okay. Just leave me alone and stop worrying about it like you’re my dad or something.”

She snapped, her voice jumping back to a low, rough, harsh sound, one that felt like something cutting his skin in a way. She curled up more, grabbed a pillow and jammed it between them. Kanji turned to face her, his face softening. He knew Naoto well enough to know that this was a lie she used to get people to go away and let her stew in her own worries, but he wasn’t up for that anymore.

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…You haven’t moved.”

“I ain’t planning on it, either”

“I told you to leave.”

“You have every other time, too. You need someone to keep you company right-”

“What I _need_ is to be left alone!”

Her words dripped with venom, stinging him like acid. He stopped, just for a moment, to consider where to go next.

“…But you want someone here with you right now.”

“…How would _you_ know?”

Again, he paused. If he messed up here, it was game over.

“I’ve seen parts of you nobody else sees. I know what you’re like when stuff gets like this. You just think you’ll make everyone else sad. You won’t. You’re only gonna hurt yourself, Naoto.”

“…”

Kanji prepared to push himself off the bed. He’d messed up, he’d messed up _so_ bad, Naoto was gonna kill him if he didn’t leave-

“-Wait.”

She sounded so urgent, yet so small and quiet. He let his arms relax. He had nothing against that voice.

“Please, stay.”

“Sure.”

“And, um,” she spoke even more quietly, shrinking even more than before, almost like a raisin, “can you come a bit closer? It’s weird to have you so far away.”

He flipped his body, shuffling until he was side-on, facing Naoto from only about an inch and a half away. He started running fingers through short, soft hair with one hand, and loosely clasped a wrist with another. She’d clearly washed her hair recently, judging from the smooth texture. That, coupled with the fact she’d just come off a case, and well, it was pretty obvious what had happened from there.

“Some guy at that Otsuki police station bothering you?

She let out a light chuckle at that.

“Take a guess, based on everything you know about how I work with police.”

“They were all pretty shitty, weren’t they?”

She looked down, towards her hand, which was barely away from the one holding her wrist.

“One of them said some… rather disparaging things about me. They were all rather ludicrous, but when I told him to leave me alone, he… they-they-”

“Shh, it’s okay. Whatever they said about you, it was bullshit.”

“But it’s always the same thing.”

“Doesn’t make it true.”

She uncurled a bit at that, releasing some of the tension in her muscles.

“I wish it was different. I…I know I can be incredibly irritating sometimes, but I…don’t think I deserved this.”

“What did they do?” Kanji had grown increasingly worried. He had an idea of what the problem was but he needed to hear her say it if this was going to get anywhere.

“They all kept calling me names, and they repeated what he said, and some of them were threatening me, and-and-”

‘It all got too much for you?”

“…Yes.”

He took the arm stroking her hand and moved it to hold her around the waist while the other in her hair wrapped around her shoulder in a loose hug.

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not.”

“Well, it’s okay here. You aren’t there anymore, they can’t touch you.”

She looked down at the mattress.

“People just like them can and will in future.”

“And they’ll be wrong every time.”

She stopped for a moment to consider what had been said.

“Hey, c’mere.”

She rolled over to face him. He took his arms and wrapped them around her quickly, pulling her in.

“It’s fine. You don’t have to worry ‘bout it. You’re out of there now. You can leave anytime you want if it all gets too much.”

“But it’s silly of me to break down so easily.”

“It isn’t. That’s just what happens when things get too much for you, and that’s okay. You can’t change that. It’s okay to take care of yourself, even if that means running to the empty office and sitting there for fifteen minutes of nothing. It’s okay to feel better.”

She listened to these words carefully. She’d barely heard anyone say anything like that in her life. Most people just told her to get over it, even when she physically couldn’t. The idea that she could leave when it was all too overwhelming, when it was all too loud or people were being too mean, it filled her with a warmth she couldn’t quite describe.

She wished someone had said it to her when she was younger.

She felt everything she had been holding back float back up to the surface. She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly and pulled herself in, tucking her head between his shoulder and neck.

When Kanji felt the tears dripping down his back, heard the quiet sobs just behind him and felt the body against him tremble, he hugged her a bit more tightly.

“It’s okay if you want to cry. I’m here for you.”

As he held her in his arms while she felt everything flow out of her, she had one thought alone, which came out in a soft, shaky voice.

“I wish someone had said that to me when I was younger.”

**Author's Note:**

> K so I'm back from my posting hiatus, and I made this because my inner evil Kermit won out against the forces making me work on OPHHR. Anyway, there is a suspicious lack of KanNao hugs around town, so I opted to help fill the void.
> 
> So I have some words for a certain author in this tiny little community of ours.
> 
> To drowninginchamomiletea, the incredible author of Riddle Me This, thank you so much for your work. I have been in a bit of a writing rut for a while, and reading your work has really started to get my headcanon machine rolling. It's made my thoughts on many characters change and grow, and it's given me so many ideas for how to expand upon the story I am hoping to one day be able to tell. Aside from all this, it has brought me joy to read your excellent writing. Also, I'm not going to lie, I am pretty sure I squeaked when I heard you place me among the likes of KawaiiBoushi and Wishstone. I feel so honoured to be amongst their ranks in your eyes. It isn't even funny. I also really can't believe that a few of the comments I've been leaving on your fic instead of actually writing my own like I should, have really had as big an impact on you as you say. Thank you for your service, and thank you so, so much for gifting me the highest compliment that can ever be bestowed upon a P4 fic author.
> 
> (Also, I haven't abandoned anything, I am just a procrastinating potato.)


End file.
